You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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