Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My vagina just recognized that song.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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