Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
