I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
