Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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