i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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