I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize