also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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