how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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