I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
