Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't deserve a penis
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
