I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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