It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
