I only kidnapped one of them. chill
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
