apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
