He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
