Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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