just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
