We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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