My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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