If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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