i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
