I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize