After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
