is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
