yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
