Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
