id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
