I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
