I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
