will power is for people who don't want to get laid
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
