So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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