There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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