yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
