this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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