Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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