K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Someone shit on the floor
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
