Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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