you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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