just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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