all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
