If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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