Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize