This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
