lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
