They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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