I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Pooping to opera.
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