I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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