Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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