can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
