at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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