I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
COCAINE IS GR8
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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