She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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