im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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