Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize