I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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