I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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