I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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