I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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