oh god the rape fog is back!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
