Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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