omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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