The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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