Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
