i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
