i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
