But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
